Early in the morning of their wedding day, James and Catherine went for a walk, directly ignoring their solicitor. The advice had been to sit quietly in the office and discuss financial arrangements \u2018like two sensible adults.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Having been together for eight years, neither had ever shown a trace of maturity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018We\u2019re supposed to be signing the pre-nup at eleven,\u2019 James reminded Catherine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I know.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018And it\u2019s half past ten.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I know.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018And we\u2019re going for a walk.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Yes.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
James looked at her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Why?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Because you said you needed fresh air.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I said I needed courage.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Same thing.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Their hotel stood at the top of a narrow Mediterranean street where the buildings leaned towards each other as though sharing gossip. Flowerpots hung from balconies, shutters creaked in the breeze, and an elderly woman appeared to be monitoring the entire street from behind a lace curtain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Catherine took James\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Are you nervous?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018About the pre-nup?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018About marrying me.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Not remotely.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Good.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019m extremely nervous about the pre-nup.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Why?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Because every time a solicitor says, \u2018It\u2019s only a formality\u2019, I know I\u2019m about to lose something.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You aren\u2019t losing anything.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I had a motorbike.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You sold it.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Under pressure.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You sold it because it had no brakes.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Exactly. Pressure.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They turned a corner. Above them, stretched between two buildings, was a washing line. It was absolutely covered in underwear. Bras and knickers fluttered in the sunshine like tiny flags celebrating somebody else\u2019s poor laundry decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
James looked up. Catherine looked at James. James looked at the washing again. Catherine folded her arms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Go on.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Admire it.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I was looking at the line.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Of course.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018It\u2019s a very good line.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Is it?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Strong.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Very.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Well positioned.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018James.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He looked at her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019re staring at a black lace bra.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I am not staring.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019ve been staring for ten seconds.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I was wondering whether it\u2019s yours.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Catherine laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You wish.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
James looked offended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I don\u2019t wish. I merely wondered.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Should we put that in the pre-nup?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Clause twelve. James is not permitted to wonder whether mysterious underwear belongs to Catherine.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I think that is unfair. Clause thirteen. Catherine is not permitted to flirt with handsome waiters.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I don\u2019t flirt with waiters.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You smiled at one yesterday.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018He smiled first.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Exactly.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That\u2019s not flirting.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What is flirting, then?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I don\u2019t know.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Excellent. We\u2019ll leave it undefined.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They carried on. A few yards later they passed a caf\u00e9. The waiter outside was young, handsome and wearing an open-necked linen shirt. He smiled at Catherine. Catherine smiled back. James immediately stopped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Clause thirteen.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Oh, don\u2019t be ridiculous.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You smiled.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018So did he.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Yes. He\u2019s clearly in breach of the agreement.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Catherine laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Are you jealous?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Not at all.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You are.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019m simply protecting my financial interests.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018How does the waiter affect your financial interests?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I don\u2019t know yet. That\u2019s why I want the clause.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Catherine shook her head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019re impossible.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You smiled at him.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You stared at the underwear.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That is different.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018How?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018The underwear couldn\u2019t smile back.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Catherine burst out laughing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That\u2019s possibly the worst defence I\u2019ve ever heard.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018It\u2019s the only one I\u2019ve got.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They walked on. For a while neither said anything. Then Catherine spotted a particularly attractive woman sitting on a balcony above them. She nudged James.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Your type.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
James looked up. The woman smiled. James smiled back. Catherine immediately gasped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Oh, very good.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019re flirting.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I was being polite.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018She smiled at you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018So did the waiter.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Exactly.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
James looked pleased.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You see? You understand now.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I understand nothing.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Then we\u2019re making progress.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Catherine narrowed her eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Clause fourteen.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What is clause fourteen?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I haven\u2019t decided yet.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Is it about the balcony woman?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018No.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What, then?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018The wife is entitled to throw a cushion at her husband if he becomes unbearably holier-than-thou.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That\u2019s very specific.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019ve been observing you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Clearly.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They reached a tiny caf\u00e9 at the end of the street and sat beneath a striped awning. Catherine ordered honey cake. James ordered the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Why honey?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Because we\u2019re getting married.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That\u2019s a rather optimistic interpretation of a cake.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She smiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Honey is sweet.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
James took a bite. He frowned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018This isn\u2019t.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Catherine tasted hers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Mine is.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Perhaps yours has had a better upbringing.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That\u2019s the problem with honey.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What problem?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018It\u2019s sweet until you start thinking about how it was made.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
James nodded thoughtfully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Like marriage.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Exactly.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Marriage is honey?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018The marriage is sweet. The pre-nup is the bitter bit.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
James looked at her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That may be the most depressing romantic thing you\u2019ve ever said.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019m being practical.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019re sitting in a wedding dress eating honey cake while discussing the division of our assets.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That is practical romance.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He took another bite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Fair enough.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Catherine reached across the table and took his hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018The pre-nup doesn\u2019t mean we expect the marriage to fail.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I know.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018It means we\u2019re honest about the things that could become difficult.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Money.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Money.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Jealousy.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Jealousy.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Your unreasonable suspicion of handsome waiters.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Your unreasonable interest in underwear.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That was architectural.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Of course.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She smiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018The sweet part is that we can talk about the bitter parts without letting them spoil everything.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
James considered this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That\u2019s actually rather good.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I thought so.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Still bitter, though.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Only slightly.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He kissed her hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Then we\u2019ll have more honey.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That\u2019s not how a pre-nup works.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018No, but it may be how marriage works.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They smiled at one another. Above them, the washing fluttered in the warm breeze. James glanced upwards. Catherine noticed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Sweet or bitter?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Neither.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What, then?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Evidence.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Evidence of what?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That we should never get married beneath a washing line.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Catherine laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Too late.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
James looked at her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Perhaps that\u2019s the point.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And, for once, neither of them had a comeback.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Early in the morning of their wedding day, James and Catherine went for a walk, directly ignoring their solicitor. The advice had been to sit quietly in the office and discuss financial arrangements \u2018like two sensible adults.\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4314,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[64,13],"tags":[405,407,406],"class_list":["post-4313","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-experimental-prose","category-trails","tag-pre-nup","tag-underware","tag-wedding"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4313","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4313"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4313\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4315,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4313\/revisions\/4315"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4314"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4313"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4313"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4313"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}