Kofi Ahmal didn\u2019t mean to start a cult. He just wanted to track his habits.
Firstly, he bought a chrome coffee machine and a notebook. He vowed to drink only one espresso every day for a year. 365 days. 365 espressos.
\u2018Consistency is the bedrock of genius,\u2019 he told his cat, Barnaby. Barnaby just licked his own leg, unimpressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here is how the year went down:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I. The \u201cHoneymoon\u201d Period<\/strong> (Days 1\u201390) II. The Mechanical Breakdown<\/strong> (Days 91\u2013180) III. The Ascendancy<\/strong> (Days 181\u2013300) IV. The Final Stretch<\/strong> (Days 301\u2013364) V. The Grand Finale<\/strong> (Day 365) VI.<\/strong> (The Aftermath)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kofi woke up. It was 4:00 PM. He had slept for sixteen hours straight. His head felt clear, his heart rate was a gentle, human 70 beats per minute, and the world was delightfully quiet. He walked into the kitchen and pulled out a box of Chamomile tea, and sighed: He bought single-origin beans from places he couldn\u2019t even spell. He bought a small digital scale to weigh his grounds to the nearest tenth of a gram, and began describing his morning shot as having \u201cnotes of sun-dried hazelnut and a whispered promise of blueberry.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3666,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[64,13],"tags":[103,102],"class_list":["post-3665","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-experimental-prose","category-trails","tag-barista","tag-coffee"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3665","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3665"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3665\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3672,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3665\/revisions\/3672"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3666"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3665"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3665"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eurolit.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3665"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
In the beginning, there was light, and it was crema-toned. Kofi was a barista god. He bought single-origin beans from places he couldn\u2019t even spell. He bought a small digital scale to weigh his grounds to the nearest tenth of a gram, and began describing his morning shot as having \u201cnotes of sun-dried hazelnut and a whispered promise of blueberry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By the third month, the romance had faded into a cold, hard routine. Then, one rainy day, tragedy struck. The espresso machine gave a pathetic hiss, coughed up a single oily tear, and died. Kofi panicked. He couldn\u2019t miss one single day. The spreadsheet would be ruined. He bought a backup espresso machine the next day. And a backup for the backup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is a fact that the caffeine had permanently altered Kofi\u2019s DNA. He no longer slept; he just rebooted for twenty minutes at 4:00 AM. He became terrifyingly efficient at life. He learned conversational Japanese over a weekend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kofi\u2019s friends stopped inviting him to dinners. It wasn\u2019t because he was mean; it was because he spoke at 4x speed and kept trying to optimise their chewing patterns. His eyes were permanently dilated to the size of dinner plates. He had calculated the exact extraction time of espresso down to the millisecond. If a shot took 26 seconds instead of 25, he would weep openly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The final cup. Espresso number 365. Kofi\u2019s kitchen looked like a mad scientist\u2019s lab. The espresso machine was practically glowing from overuse. Kofi raised the cup. \u2018To science,\u2019 he whispered to Barnaby. \u2018To discipline.\u2019 He downed it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Let\u2019s see what 365 days of hot grass water does to a man.\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"